Monday, January 23, 2012

Tell me what do I do?
With my heart out on the floor I can't do this anymore.
Because I lost you.
And tell me what can I do?
To forget you, oh god i miss you.
Baby where did you go? When did we start?
To fall apart for the world to see.
And what do I do?
I can't live this life without you.
Its just the pictures of you, and the memmories we share,
You didnt care and now im left with this
I can't do it anymore,
i lost my heart
My forever from the start

Baby I miss you
and oh god how I want you
back in my life I wouldnt even blink
What can I do?
to show you I care
to show you we all make mistakes
we all learn from them
Why cant you care?

I wish I knew what to do
or where to begin
with this life that feels like an end
I lost my forever and my bestfriend
all at once and now Im left with this

Baby where did we go?
When did it start?
We fell apart for the world to see
and now what do i do?
To go on without you...
Im so lost like im out at sea
Something I wrote for Am. Lit....
A holiday Memmory;


After spending half a day in school, a dreadful, boring day, he and I set off to my apartment. As we walked along the side of the highway, we held hands, not saying a word. It was very peaceful and cold. We eventually got to my home and I struggled finding the right key. But as we entered, he took my hand and turned me around and kissed me. It was perfect and sweet. We went into my room and laid down to rest; about an hour later I woke to my brother crying. He ran in the door screaming and crying because he ate my cheeseburger, which I did not care. However, my mother was upset because he had a Mc rib and ate mine because he likes to make me mad. So he woke my love; he woke up crabby and tired. He doesn’t sleep often, but he sleeps well when he’s holding me. As our day went on, we watched the young beg for candy. We walked around in the small town of Minocqua, looking at all the stores and bars. We walked until the kids were done trick-or-treating. My mother then decided to take them all to Woodruff so he then took me to dinner. The restaurant smelled like Italy and had paintings on the wall of flowers and masonry.  It was beautiful and our waitress was so kind. I ordered the Greek food and he ordered some type of cheese and later mozzarella sticks. We started off with sharing an Oreo-shake; we put two straws in the glass and leaned over the table at the same time. The shake was so good; I think I drank it all. As we ate our dinner, he kindly took my hand. The minute he touched me I got shivers down my spine. He looked at the ring he bought me and told me he’d get me a new one. He grasped my hand harder and without a blink of my eye, kissed it. “I love you” he told me. I almost cried because he’s so sweet to me. Now that I think back to that beautiful night of the dead, I remember how beautiful and joyous I felt. Whenever I close my eyes, I’m there.
"My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure" -James Blunt

Thats what I first thought when I first met him. And I truly, deeply, and unconditionally loved him. He was my everything. And now that its over between us, im just left with a broken heart and memmories. I wrote music that hes never heard and cried tears that hes never saw. I know im just having a "poor me party", but it's how im feeling inside. I lost my bestfriend and my forever and it hurts. He was the only one I talked to, the only one who cared. But in the end, he was just like every other guy I've dated... Only cared enough to get what he wanted, and he got it for nearly a year.

It hurts when I think about us, and believe me I try so hard not to, but it's not easy. I just want to break down and cry to him like I've always done. However, if I did that, I don't think his new girlfriend would appreciate that.



N. Stone
11.9.11

You’re all that I want
And all that I need.
Through the wind and the cold,
Please stay here with me.
And don’t ever let me go,
Hold me tight.
I don’t want let go…
But I’m afraid that you might

Baby don’t go,
I need you tonight
Baby don’t leave,
Please stay here with me
Baby don’t stop
Loving me
And baby please, don’t ever let me go...

And even if I pray,
He might not answer my prayers.
Oh lord Oh lord,
Can you hear me now?
I’m asking you for him,
To keep me close.
I don’t want let go,
But I’m afraid that he might.

So baby don’t go,
I need you tonight
And baby don’t leave,
Just stay here with me
Baby don’t stop…
Loving me.
And baby please, don’t ever let me go…

I’m just going to pray
And keep my hope
I’ll never let you go
Because I love you so
I’ll always be here
Through the thick and the thin
I need you now, but I can wait till then

And I’ll never lose my faith
I can always wait.
Even if its years,
I’ll still be here.
Just waiting for you,
To be happy
That would bring joy to my eyes
And a tear down my cheek…

You’re all that I want
And all that I need.
Through the wind and the cold,
Please stay here with me.
And don’t ever let me go,
Hold me tight.
I don’t want let go…
But I’m afraid that you might